Marina and Ulay: The Silent Love Story

It was a beautiful moment. Performance artists Marina Abramovic and Frank Uwe Laysiepen, better known as Ulay, sat either side of a table, holding hands, locked in the weight of unspoken dialogue. So much was said in those few silent moments. Ulay’s attempts to deal with the emotion of the occasion, by taking a deep breath, staightening his jacket and shaking his head, made it all the more heart-rending. It was as if the child within him wanted to burst out and reveal a wealth of tangled feelings, while the man himself was under pressure to retain public composure and hold it all back. The strained expressions on his aging face carried the weight of youthful story lines and seemed to tell a touching tale of deep love and remorse.

Meanwhile, Marina’s face lit up when her former lover and co-creator unexpectedly took a seat opposite her. The poignancy of the moment then overtook her, as her eyes filled with tears and she reached out to hold Ulay’s hands.

The two were partners in love and work for over a decade, during which time they crafted a series of works exploring their intense relationship. When they separated in 1998, they marked the end of their coupling with a piece called The Lovers, walking from either end of the Great Wall of China before meeting in the middle, embracing for one last time and parting forever.

During an installation at The Museum of Modern Art in New York, in 2010, Marina sat in a gallery for eight hours a day, inviting strangers to sit opposite her and look into her eyes. When Ulay appeared before her, the visitors and photographers seemed to melt into a background haze as all focus and energy centred on the former couple. It was an overwhelmingly beautiful, sad, tender moment. You can watch the video here.

It’s only as you get older, I think, that you can understand the sheer extent of complex sentimentality that would permeate a situation like this. The over-riding feeling is one of love, a close bond of togetherness, which, regardless of whatever else life has thrown at them, is timeless and unbreakable. There are implications of all sorts of difficult emotions; regret, heartache, resigned acceptance, as well as affection, tenderness and respect. In a few stirring seconds, with their hands clasped together, they let it all wash over them and left the rest of us spellbound.

I was so deeply moved by the occasion, I felt that I wanted to channel my feelings into something creative, as a personal response to their fleeting instance of togetherness.

I have detailed my love of painting in a previous blog post which you can read here. So, this time, I lost myself in a few hours of applying acrylic onto canvas to show Marina and Ulay in this unforgettable stance. It now lives on my wall as a constant reminder of the compelling, timeless, all encompassing, indestructible nature of true love and how we all need that hand to hold sometimes, connecting us to the other side of ourselves.